Instead of creating work and installations to challenge perceptions and get a truer sense of Self, what if I use my MA project to systematically and directly expose and work through my own ego attachments?
Making my spiritual practice into art and vice versa.
Where it started
Through research, I’ve been more and more exposed to the concept of the viewer being involved in the creation of art:
- Op-art – due to the viewing angle
- James Turrell – seeing is in the seeing
- Nam June Paik – magnets, self viewing self
- Bobby Dowler – audience decides on placement of art work
When reflecting on this, the idea of me handing the keys of my work over to someone else entirely made me feel a bit uncomfortable inside.
And that gave me this idea which I want to explore.
There’s something about ownership or being the person that ‘created’ this, that I need to let go of, as part of my spiritual development.
My ego attachment to being the ‘doer’.
At my friend Lucy Mahon’s show opening on Thursday, I was chatting to a friend of a friend. He told me a story where he asked a curator: who had bigger egos and who were better liars – politicians or artists?
That question stayed with me and the next day I was listening to an episode of spiritual teacher Michael Singer’s podcast, where he discusses life’s purpose:
Core idea
Suddenly my whole art & spiritual practice came into focus along with the idea of proactively combining them both into one.
Beyond my daily sitting meditations, my spiritual practice is essentially about:
- Being present
- Being aware of my triggers, aversions and desires
- Feeling the arising emotion fully, and…
- Completely letting it go.
What if I proactively make my spiritual practice into art?
What if, instead of creating contemplative installations for others to have experiences in, I use the exhibition context to systematically expose and work through my own ego attachments?
If I can create situations that dramatically expose all my triggers then it provides an amazing opportunity for me to work through them. And beyond that is pure freedom, no inhibitions.
But it won’t be fun!!
Method
Yesterday I journalled on these questions:
- What am I resisting?
- What are my fears?
- What are my desires?
- What would I hate the world to know about me or have me do?
As part of the project I could ask friends, acquaintances or random people to ask me to do something or to put me in a position which they think/know I won’t like or that will fully test my ego.
And my practice is to do whatever the request is, with full vulnerability and transparency, and to properly feel into and let go of whatever anxieties, cares and doubts that may arise.
It’s like handing the keys of my false ‘self’ or ego over to the public to intentionally wear down and destroy.
Context
This reflects on the modern art world and society in general.
So often it seems, everyone is trying to present the best versions of themselves, in public and on social media. Always in the best light. We’re completely curating the lives we present to others.
It’s our personal ego wanting or needing to display itself, to prove itself. Seeking external validation. And at the same time solidifying a false sense of separation.
I haven’t posted on social media in years. Is that because I don’t like the distraction – or because I’m scared of rejection and exposure? Worth exploring.
What if the opposite were done. What if I committed to posting on social media but only showed the worst or only things that I wouldn’t want others to see?
To fully expose my dirty laundry so to speak.
Why this matters to my practice?
This connects directly to my original MA vision and goals: to help me/others make sense of something beyond the senses, to find our truer sense of Self.
This project would be the most direct way of finding/discovering my true Self.
It also relates back to a tough period a few years ago at Everpress. The public shaming at the time seemed to destroy a sense of who I was – as my identity was so closely linked to the business (and its success). This fallout subsequently led me on the spiritual path.
With this project I’d be proactively seeking radically challenging situations.
What position do ‘I’ have to defend if, as neuroscientist Anil Seth states, “the self is a construct“?
I want to explore this statement in my art practice. What neuroscience and yogis both point to. Via the most direct investigation.
Spirituality is about letting everything go. This work makes that investigation public, participatory, and immediate.
One of my mantras is: “Suffering is resistance.”
Here’s an opportunity to really test theory and to work through it in multiple ways and drop any resistance. It’s very scary but bring it on.
Key questions
Q: Is this right for me? Am I the exhibitor? Is it self-centred?
I think this is exactly the paradox the work needs to hold. The ego asking if it’s too egotistical to dismantle the ego publicly.
Q: What would I hate the world to know about me?
This becomes the actual material of the work
Q: How do I record this?
Documentation becomes crucial – but it can’t undermine the practice. It can’t become another performance of spiritual achievement.
Q: What system do I set to ensure I’m answering honestly?
This is key. The work only functions if it’s genuine practice, not performance.
I ran this project idea past Katie and she loves it. She said, “I know you very well and I know this will disturb you greatly…”
I think anything which really ‘disturbs’ us is an opportunity to put our awareness on it and to properly lean in, as intimidating as that might initially seem.
Katie also suggested some very interesting & relevant artist references:
Michael Landy, Breakdown
Michael Landy, Break Down, 2001. Commissioned by Artangel. Photo: Parisa Taghizadeh
Over fourteen days in 2001, Michael Landy systematically destroyed all 7,226 of his personal belongings – from mundane items to priceless artworks and love letters – using a factory-like process in an Oxford Street storefront as both a meditation on consumerism and an attempt at self-obliteration.
Rather than being nihilistic, Landy described it as a “celebration of life” and “the joy of destruction,” inviting audiences to consider their relationship to ownership and how material possessions construct a sense of self.
Mark Farid, Seeing I
Mark Farid, Seeing-I, 2014-2020. Images from https://seeing-1.co.uk
For seven days, artist Mark Farid lived in a gallery space wearing a VR headset 24 hours a day, experiencing life exclusively through the eyes and ears of a stranger (the “Other”), eating, sleeping, and moving only when they did, to test how much of identity is inherent versus shaped by environment.
The project explores whether the brain can adapt to complete sensory replacement and whether one’s sense of self can survive when disconnected from their own experiences and subjected entirely to another person’s reality.
Marina Abramović, Rhythm 0
Marina Abramović. Rhythm 0. Performance 6 hours. Studio Morra, Naples. 1974.
In 1974, Marina Abramović stood passively for 6 hours while the audience could use 72 objects on her body (ranging from a rose to a loaded gun).
This directly relates to the idea of putting myself in positions I don’t like and surrendering control. The work exposed what happens when the artist removes all agency.
Marina Abramović,The House with the Ocean View
In 2002, the artist lived in a gallery for 12 days without speaking, eating, reading, or writing. Pure presence witnessed by audiences.
This work is relevant because it explicitly frames endurance performance as a purification ritual conducted in full public view.
The audience became essential participants:
- Two rules: No talking; only “energy dialogue” with the artist
- People came for minutes, stayed for hours, returned day after day
- Silent eye contact between artist and viewers – sometimes lasting 15 minutes
- One viewer described it as creating an “energy field” or “ethereal space”
- On the final day, 200 people sat on the floor watching her
- Abramović said: “I think when they saw me so vulnerable, so open, the response was like an avalanche of emotion or an ocean. That was the title of the piece, ‘The House With the Ocean View,’ and the ocean was their minds. They helped me through.”
The gallery becomes container for genuine practice rather than representation.
Reflections & learning
While the core concept feels really powerful, excites me and would definitely push me – I think I need to be more stringent about the structure and methodology.
Looking at the artists referenced above, each created specific, bounded experiments rather than open-ended explorations.
Each piece of work has:
- A specific aspect of self/ego being tested
- Clear parameters – time frame, specific restrictions, defined space
- Concrete actions – not abstract concepts but actual things done/not done
- Clear documentation protocols
Next steps
- The challenge now is to break down the broad territory of “ego” into discrete, testable experiments, each targeting a particular attachment or resistance I’ve identified
- I’ll start by categorising my journal responses. ie. attachment to physical appearance, need for privacy etc
- And then brainstorm some experiments that could genuinely challenge them in different ways
- Discuss with Jonathan and my meditation teacher before committing