I spoke to 11 people – some who’ve never meditated, some who tried and stopped – and asked them to be brutally honest about why.
Almost everyone I spoke to knew that meditation works. The barriers were subtler, and in many cases more interesting than “I don’t have time.” I asked each person same questions.
For lapsed meditators:
- Take me back to when you stopped – what was actually going on? Why did you stop?
- Did you feel like you were doing it wrong, or like the practise itself wasn’t working?
- What’s stoping you from doing it more?
- Have you tried to restart? What happened?
- Do you think your thoughts are always true?
- Would you like more control over your thoughts? Why?
For never-meditators:
- What’s put you off trying it?
- When someone suggests you should meditate, what goes through your head?
- What would have to be true for you to give it a genuine go?
- Do you think your thoughts are always true?
- Would you like more control over your thoughts? Why?
Here’s a summary of the findings/responses.
1. Productivity guilt is a real blocker
“I have this false belief that I should be doing something better with my time. If I was to sit and meditate for 15 minutes I could be getting on with my to-do list.” – Pete
“I’m not happy until my to-do list is complete — and of course it never happens, because the to-do list is never empty.” – Hazel
“Everyone has time. Everyone has 15 minutes. But we’re so busy.” – Laura
Eight of the eleven interviewees named some version of this. But it’s not really a time problem – it’s a permission problem. The to-do list functions as a gatekeeper and until it’s clear, sitting still feels like avoidance rather than an investment. And because the list is never clear, the opportunity to meditate rarely opens.
Solution: What needs to be made clear is that the benefits of meditation compound over time. Five minutes a day now returns a calmer, more efficient mind in just a few months. That’s not a productivity loss, it’s the opposite.
2. It’s hard to sustain practice alone – community is important
“I don’t have a community. It was all very self-led. Maybe I should go to a retreat – somewhere you can share challenges and have some guidance.” – Danielle
“I was there with a bunch of people also doing it – a group thing, in a set space and time set aside for it.” – Laura
“I’d love to be in a book club, but it’s the supper group or community that helps you read.” – Pete
“Choose a tree, create a community around it – one minute, every morning. Then there will be a thousand people. It’s a movement.” – Jono
Every instance of their practice holding was connected to a group, teacher, or community.
Solution: Frame it as doing a shared experiment simultaneously, not individuals doing a personal practice. The feeling of “other people are doing this right now” is important.
3. There’s a big misconception that the mind has to be blank
“I think proper meditation should be the ability to not have any thoughts and just sit with a neutral brain – and every time I meditated I had loads of thoughts. That got frustrating.” – Victoria
“You sit down for five minutes and your mind’s going crazy. You’re like, I can’t do this. You lose faith in yourself.” – Jono
“I have ADHD – I just don’t think I can switch off.” – Zac
Nearly half of the interviewees believed that having thoughts during practice means they’re doing it wrong. This misconception causes more dropout than anything else – Victoria stopped entirely because of it, Zac used his ADHD as evidence he was unsuited.
Solution: Be clear that if your mind goes crazy when you sit down, that’s not failure, that’s the data. This single reframe turns the most common early frustration from a stop signal into a start signal.
4. Without an early feedback loop, habits can’t form
“If you have a pint, you feel it straight away. If you go for a run, you feel it. Meditation feels like it’s less going to give me something.” – Jono
“If I was more successful at it, I think I’d do it more regularly.” – Ben
“I need to have that written on my mirror as a reminder.” – Hazel, on the compounding return framing
ThoughtCounter’s thought-count data solves this directly. From the first investigation session, participants have a number.
Solution: Make it the story from the start – “you noticed 23 thoughts, that’s your baseline, watch what happens to it” – and the practice becomes an experiment rather than an act of faith.
5. Almost everyone has already found a substitute
“My life so fast I need the next input.” – Brook
“I wanted to get back into meditation but it was so uncomfortable that I thought maybe I should do something more physical – yoga. But whenever it slowed down to more meditative yoga classes, I had all these racing thoughts.” – Danielle
“I do breath work and yoga. But I haven’t got to a point where I can sit and do nothing.” – Laura
“I visualise a lot – visualise things I want to do, my future. Maybe as a form of meditation.” – Zac
Almost everyone has an informal substitute such as yoga, breath work, running, visualisation. These are evidence of appetite, and people want what meditation provides, they’ve just found lower-friction versions.
Solution: I think it’s a case of meeting people where they are, validating what they’re already doing, then slowly introducing the distinction – that the goal isn’t a calm moment, it’s a calmer mind in the background of all moments – and that’s only truly available through meditation.
6. Practice works better in dedicated environments
“In January I went on a yoga retreat in India. I thought I’d be in a terrible mood back in winter, but I felt very serene. But the only thing I’ve sustained since then is five minutes of breath work.” – Laura
“I’m better away from home. At home I think I really ought to be walking the dog, I really ought to be cooking a meal.” – Hazel
“I wouldn’t do it indoors. What encourages me is if I put myself in nature.” – Victoria
“It’ll be false circumstances. If I manage to do it at a retreat, would I do it once I get home? I’m not sure.” – Hazel
Several people had experienced meditation working – specifically on retreat, in nature, in a guided group. A retreat removes the friction of daily life – but that’s really hard to maintain when back home.
7. For some people, stopping is a genuine challenge
“Every time I stops the treadmill or life – going home to Spain, going on holiday – I either become ill or I’m overcome by anxiety. It’s like all these emotions and feelings flood in that I can’t handle.” – Carlos
Solution: Have a disclaimer or more info for people in this position, recommending that therapy should come first.
8. Meditation has a brand problem
“It’s like therapy – people look down on it quite a lot. They’re sceptical.” – Zac
“People might think it’s fluffy bullshit. People with money going away on retreats to do yoga and meditation.” – Zac
“It’s not bullshit. It’s just like – you have loads of thoughts. Okay, let’s look at that. Not hippie vibe. Direct. Scientific.” – Zac
For Zac, the aesthetic of meditation is a barrier before the practice is even considered.
Solution: It doesn’t need to fight this association, it needs to simply be different enough that it doesn’t apply. ie. Focused on the data and a direct investigation rather than fluffy-ness. eg. “you have loads of thoughts, let’s look at that.”
Summary
In any communications, I need to remember to:
- Reframe sitting still as investment that compounds over time.
- Make it clear that thoughts during meditation is completely normal and aren’t failure – it’s data.
- Create an early feedback loop. The thought count gives people something concrete from session one.
- Build in community from the start.
- Not pretend that friction at home doesn’t exist.